Menstruation: A taboo creeping through the doors
“Deuta! I think I am bleeding! I finally got my periods!” I was 13 years old when I reached menarche (the first period you get in your life). I was extremely elated to have gotten my period. I read about it in school, and all my friends talked about the first time they got their periods. I felt left out because I could not share my experience with them. Hence, since I turned 12, I have always waited for this day. My female friends from school would always ask me to check their skirts on whether they had a stain or not. It had become a trend. A trend that I could finally be a part of!
I was exhilarated with emotions! I was thrilled, and with joy, I told my father, “Deuta! I am a woman now! I can finally ask my friends to check the back of my skirt for any period stain”. The first thing my father said was, “Don’t look at me! Mom would be furious!”. I did not know what was happening. I was happy for a moment, and then suddenly, the happiness was gone. Everybody around me was rushing. My mother is a school teacher who has been teaching in the same school for more than 25 years. Deuta informed her about my periods, and she came running from school to home. My mother immediately locked me inside their bedroom and closed all the curtains. She said, “Congratulations on getting your periods. You are a woman now, and when you grow up, you will become one of the strongest women in the world. I am so proud of you!”
I was thrilled that I had gotten my period. Little did I know that a dozen different rituals came with this. Rituals that would impact my childhood. For the next three days, I was not allowed to leave the room where I was in. I was not given a sanitary pad to use. The next three days were havoc for me. I could not see my favorite person in the whole world. I could not meet my father. When I asked my mother why I was not allowed to? She responded, “It’s a ritual, honey! People have been following it for generations.”
I was not allowed to enter the temple, and then the fourth day came. On the fourth day of my menstruation cycle, my menarche was celebrated with a ritual called “Tuloni Biya/Xoru Biya” (which literally translates to small marriage). For four days, I did not go to school.
Here I was, a child, four days ago, and then suddenly, the world had changed as my vagina started bleeding. I was not the same spirited child anymore. I had to behave a certain way.
It was decades later that I realized I was not alone. There are thousands of people in the world who have gone through the same traumatic experience. All in the name of rituals!
Taboos associated with menstrual hygiene are real. As someone, who has experienced it herself, I can guarantee that it does not matter if you are born in a city or a village.
The taboos are real.
The trauma is real.
During their periods, menstruating people are not permitted to attend school or college. They can’t even talk about their periods because it’s taboo. Because they believe menstruating people are impure, they are not allowed in the kitchen. During these times, they dwell in a separate room outside the house and are unable to visit a temple or attend any religious functions.
With globalization and modernization right around the corner, the world is changing, yet the taboos have not.
To establish an effective menstrual hygiene, we must at least normalize menstruation to the point where people can talk about it without feeling embarrassed and are not exposed to dangerous situations while confined in a relief camp. Menstrual health education is the initial step in this direction.
For centuries, we have been conditioned to believe that menstrual blood is filthy; therefore, a menstruating person is impure, which causes unnecessary stress to menstruating persons in emergencies.
Young girls are taught to revere their ‘culture,’ but older women, surprisingly, are less prone to make cultural arguments. Instead, they frequently mention health, cleanliness, and other factors — thereby providing ‘secular’ justifications for continuing these restrictions on menstruating people.
Menstruation is a great paradox because it can be both a sign of fertility and a source of shame and inconvenience. Most menstruating people’s lives have improved economically, politically, and socially in recent years. But, despite the fact that we’re now more physically at ease during menstruation, we’re still embarrassed to discuss this regular part of our lives.
The only way to get out of this vicious cycle of shame is by SAYING IT OUTLOUD and talking about menstruation in our social circles. I do not blame my mother for falling into this vicious cycle. Over time, even she realized that these practices could be detrimental to a person’s psycho-social health.
It’s time we embrace menstruation and not disgrace it!
